Well screw your family.

But seriously...

Eleanor Roosevelt said 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' I have taken those words to heart, and remind myself of them often.

First and foremost, the thing that is important more than anything else is that YOU'RE DOING THIS FOR YOURSELF AND NO ONE ELSE. Not your family, not your friends, not me, not anyone but YOURSELF. I know it's easy for me to sit here and say this, when I'm not in your situation... but I have been in your situation, believe me. I guess I've just reached a point in my life where I'm finally completely fed up with worrying about what others think about me, who I am or what I may be doing. Now that's not to say that I go out of my way to piss people off (depends on who it is, really)... you get the drift of what I'm saying.

Some things to ponder...

1) No 14 year old ever wasted away because they didn't have junk food. Tell her if she wants it THAT badly, she needs to bring her own when she comes to see you, because you're not providing it for her, period.

2) I know money's tight, and space in your house is probably tight, too, but you might give some thought to either some type of exercise equipment that you can use when the weather's bad, or maybe a membership somewhere close by - you can swing a dead cat around here without hitting a Curves, and a lot of the ladies I work with just rave about the place. Their hours don't fit in with my schedule, otherwise I'd probably join. At least that way, you'd have an option for days when the weather's nasty.

3) Have you talked to your doctor about your diet? I was just looking back at one of your previous posts where you listed what a typical day's menu was. I'm no nutritionist, but I'd say if that's what you're sticking to normally, you're probably right on target.

I, too, wish I could just stop eating, because if I can't eat what I want to eat then what's the point?

I've gotten soooooooooooooooo off track after being sick this last week. I haven't been on the elliptical, haven't had the energy for it. AND (and this is the worst, I'd say.........) I have injected my insulin in about a week, either. Legitimately, the first two days I was so very sick that I forgot to do it before collapsing into bed. The third day rolled around and I realized I hadn't done it... and by that point I couldn't bring myself to do it. Ever since I found out before Christmas about the insulin-makes-you-gain-weight thing, I've struggled to give myself that shot every night, because I feel almost as if I'm injecting poison into myself. I know I need to get back to doing it. I've been too afraid to check my numbers, although I know they are likely to be off, too, just from being sick.

Ugh.

I think we both need a long break, somewhere with a beach, and slushy drinks that come with little paper umbrellas...

Hang in there...

Bad weather is not good for walking. Every pretty day, I make sure I'm up and out pounding the pavement. On the cold days... it's harder... I will pace the house, but it drives people a bit crazy, me walking around. Plus, I don't fair well breathing in the cold, cold air. Makes me cough and my asthma flare up...

I still feel like I'm eating too much... but my sister, Mary, says I don't eat enough. I wish I could just stop eating.... LOL, but that can't happen... It doesn't help with my niece is always hungry and is always griping about food... there are no snack foods here.. and there's a reason for that. I'm going to have to send her home... or kill her... and since I can't do that... I'll have to send her home. We have a kitchen full of food, but none of it suits her.... she want's something from the restaurant down the road... I don't think there's very much worse than a whining 14 year old. She never used to whine when she was little... but she's damn good at it now.

There is no support here... only criticism... why do I try?... cause I want to stay alive... and that's not going to happen unless I make it happen.

I'm going to get some work done... stay out of the kitchen.

I hate feeling like I'm so busy that I can't even breath.

I did get the postcard - complete with cell phone number that I've added to my phone - thank you! :) I'll be sure to send you mine.

Hopefully this weekend I'll have a chance to write more................

Went to see the vampires today...

for my 6 month blood work... last 6 months wasn't too bad... so we're hoping for better today. If not, they'll call me. They haven't had to call me yet... thank God. Talked to him about my reoccurring anxiety attacks... he told me if I can't continue to 'talk myself down'... he's going to change my meds. But so far... except for once, I've been able to talk myself into calming down. They didn't weigh me today... bummer. I've actually done pretty well lately and have gotten comments from friends at school that I look like I've lost some weight. Walking is rather theraputic for me... except on NASTY RAINY DAYS like today.

Did you get the C-mas card I sent you?? Just wanted to make sure I had the right address still.

OOHH! Sounds good... I'll have to look into that.

Laughed when I read your post during lunch... I was eating a turkey sandwich!

Couldn't walk much tonight... it was sooo cold and the wind was making it much worse. Plus, I was exhausted... aka... lazy! LOL

I also like Morningstar Farms Spicy Black Bean burgers, for something different every once-in-a-while. Don't get the Bocca brand - they're nasty.

This will make a lot more sense once you read my post below!

First, to your question -

I think the important thing is that you don't feel deprived. I know for me, that's when I start to run into trouble. Watch out that you don't get bored with what you're eating, too (I'm sure I don't have to tell you this). I ate so many turkey sandwiches while I was pregnant that just the thought of one now makes me ill.

Here's a recipe I got from the Food Network. I've made this a bunch of times over the last 6 months or so. The whole wheat pasta isn't bad; just be sure to cook it long enough (it does have to cook longer than regular pasta, but it's loaded with fiber). And you'd never know that the 'sauce' for this is made from spinach - healthy and tasty (OMG... I sound so perky I'm going to make myself sick...). I also like to grill up a chicken breast to chop up and stir in with a serving of it, which is a meal in itself.

Penne with Spinach Sauce - makes 6 servings
1 pound whole wheat or multi grain penne
3 garlic cloves
2 ounces feta cheese
1 ounce reduced fat cream cheese
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
6 ounces fresh baby spinach leaves
2 tablespoons freshly grated Parmesan

Bring a large pot of salted water to boil. Add the penne and cook until it is tender but still firm to the bite, stirring occasionally, about 12 minutes.
Mince the garlic in a food processor. Add the goat cheese, cream cheese, 3/4 teaspoon of salt, 1/2 teaspoon of pepper, and half of the spinach leaves. Blend until the mixture is smooth and creamy. Set the cheese and spinach mixture aside.
Meanwhile, place the remaining spinach leaves in a large bowl.
Drain the pasta, reserving 1 cup of the cooking liquid. Spoon the pasta atop the spinach leaves in the bowl. Scrape the cheese and spinach mixture over the pasta mixture and toss to coat, adding enough reserved cooking liquid to moisten. Season the pasta, to taste, with salt and pepper. Sprinkle the Parmesan over and serve.

Unbelievably (and I'll post more on this...), we've replaced our treadmill with an elliptical. And it's kicking my a$$. But I'm doing it, and that's the important thing. Getting on it and sweating motivates me to eat better, oddly enough. I tried a yoga dvd tonight - what a laugh that was. During the warm up, the lady had you doing the 'cat and dog' - down on all fours arching the back to stretch it out. W.T. thought I was playing a game, started laughing hysterically, climbed up on my back and pretended he was riding a horse. So much for yoga.

Never a dull moment around here... :)

Walking, walking, walking

I think the best thing I ever did was buy my MP3 player... I leave it in my car and when I stop off at the church to do my walking... I put it on and set it to play whatever I'm in the mood for... and I start huffing my butt around the rather large church lot at the end of the road. 3 trips around the perimitter... I'll work up to more, but 3 is about my limit on cold days. If I do to much... I start hacking... ugh... I hate asthma.

It is sooooo much easier for me to deal with my eating correctly when I'm at work. My typical day of food consists of: (this is what I had today)

Breakfast
1 c. oatmeal with splenda
1 slice toast (35 bread) with a scraping of butter
1 c. milk

--> 32 oz. water while teaching in a.m.

Lunch
1 1/2 c. salad with 1/2 packet of fat free salad dressing (usually ranch or 1,000 islands)
1/2 c. chopped turkey
1/2 c. fruit
12 oz. lemonade or water

--> 32 oz. water while teaching afternoon classes

Walking-- 30 mins. moderate pace

Dinner
Ground turkey patty
3/4 c. brocolli
1/2 c. pasta
24 oz diet coke

Evening computer munchies (aka snack): handful of shelled walnuts and usually some more water.

this is pretty typical... although the amount of water varies from day to day... sometimes I don't make that afternoon 32 oz. My older sister doesn't seem to think I'm eating enough... but geesh... isn't that the whole idea of dieting... I'm not starving and I don't feel deprived... what do you think?? BTW... the food journal is going very well.

No worries!

Hey! don't worry about it... I've not kept track either... I've not gone total nuts with the food, but I've been too busy to keep the book due to the holidays. So starting tuesday, since I'll be back on my regular shedule... I'll be writing everything down.... food, levels and minutes spent walking.


HEY! did you get my Christmas card I sent you?? ;-)

Happy New Year Dearie!!