Check out this cool site: http://primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/jumpsite/calculat.htm that calculates the calories you burn doing different activities.

Things have just felt so... scattered since Christmas. I haven't gone overboard, but at the same time haven't been as diligent as I should, especially when it comes to writing it all down. Here I've encouraged you to do it, and I'm not even following through! But I'm not going to knock myself down over it. Everyone has an off period.

More soon...

Drink 1/2 your body weight in ounces? OMG... even spread out over the course of the day, I'd puke! But I bet I'd lose weight, because 1) I'd be puking from all the water, and 2) when I wasn't puking, I'd be running to the bathroom to pee, which gets rid of water weight and gets me my exercise for the day!

This week has just been so... off. I'm still not really back from Christmas, but am using the excuse that hey, it's the holidays, blah, blah, blah. New Year's resolutions and all that.

I promise more thoughts soon - tomorrow - but right now, the little boy must have a bath.

It's THURSDAY!!

I didn't do too bad today. I didn't get to walk, between the trip to Winchester and the appointment with my hair dresser... I ran out of time. I also slept in today. I haven't had a chance to sleep in all break... so I did today. But I took a heck of a walk yesterday... it was a little chilly, but it was a nice sunny day, and I really enjoyed my walk. The days are starting to get longer now... so hopefully I won't run out of time to walk in the evenings, in the near future.

I'm having trouble drinking enough water... when I teach... I have my cup and I drink all the time. Certain kids come into my room with their class and they know to get my cup and take it to the cafeteria and get ice and more water. When I work on the computer in the evenings... I'll have a great big glass of water with me... but when I'm working throughout the day or visiting with my sister's... I don't drink enough.

According to studies... you should drink in ounces 1/2 your body weight. so if you weigh 160 lbs. you should drink 80 ozs. daily. If I did that... I'd drown... or float away... I already pee all night. I do feel better if I drink lots of water daily... So drink lots and lots of water...

Just as I feared...

I did great today (Monday)... comparatively... yesterday was not so good. (Sunday). But I figured that and I did skimp on carbs and calories earlier in the day so if things did go over with the nibblies... It wouldn't put me into coma land.

Tomorrow I start anew.. and I am taking a page from your book... Literally... I've got a new notebook and if it goes into my mouth... it gets written down. When I walk... it gets written down... and my bsl levels get written down.


According to Brother J... (speaking of... you should see how much weight he's lost lately... gee dang!!!) He eats about a 25o0 calories diet a day... and it's spread out in 3 meals and 2 snacks...

each snack is only about 100 calories and 5 gr of carbs

each meal has the other calories divided (with lunch being the biggest) and anywhere from 30 t0 45 gr of carbs each meal.

Being female... my caloric intake should be less... so I'm going to shoot for 2000 or so.

Speaking of candles... you should smell the new scented candles Momma gave me... they smell wonderful...

I think it's time to start meditating again... just turn off the phones... lock the doors... get out the classical music... turn off the lights... light a candle and sit with my eyes closed and imagine a empty field or ocean horizon...

You're a smart cookie dearie! Thanks for the advice.

I am still reeling from the little bit o'news regarding the insulin that my doctor dropping into the conversation on Friday. I still just cannot believe that, and I cannot believe that I didn't know this sooner, or that my prior doctor didn't mention a word about it to me during the THREE YEARS he's had me on the stuff.

But I digress.

I am making getting on the treadmill, or any other form of exercise, the last thing on my mind until Tuesday, and I think you should, too. Light some candles, put on some good music, and just relax and enjoy the holidays. I'm trying no to go too far overboard with the eating and all that (perhaps, subconsciously, I volunteered to host Christmas dinner so I could control what's served? Doubtful, but it sounds good.), but I'm not going to stress if my numbers are a little higher.

It'll allllllllllllll be over soon!

PS LOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE The Manhattan Transfer!!!!

okay... 2 bad days in a row

I'm not in the mood for this today. It's been raining 3 days in a row. Went to the Dollar Store to finish up some shopping and to walk. Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and it DAMN well better be. I want to walk outside... me and my new ipod. In all fairness, it did not rain all day today, but I was busy during the sunny time, and the road was all puddled up... I'm making excuses, I know.

Tomorrow, we meet at my sister's for hors & ovaries. I have to be there early for church and then to make the dang things. LOL I'm gettting bitter. Only 3 cracker things for me. There will be other things there for me. Meats and cheeses and veggies....

I've always said that I'm solar powered... this rain and gloom must be getting to me... or maybe it's just PMS! LOL

Manhattan Transfer... take me away...

Well, I hate to tell you this...

But yeah, I knew that about insulin. Sorry... I don't really think about insulin because I don't take it. I'm on Glyberide... a pill.

I've got the serious munchies today... I bet if I took my BSL right now... I'd cry. I've done so well in the last month.... but the holidays are a major pain in the ass. Self control... what a crock of crap. Oh well Scarlette... tomorrow is another day.

I was b.s.ing to my sister about not walking 2 days in a row, due to monsoon season... She looked at me and said... what did you do the whole time you were in Wal-Mart?? Fly?? I'm an idiot... I looked at her and said... that didn't count. LOL I guess I feel that if I'm not huffing my ass up and down the road a bunch of times... it's not walking. She rolled her eyes at me and told me I'm an idiot. LOL Well, when she's right, she's right.

I hate dieting... I miss bread and pasta... (i don't miss potatoes... didn't like them much in the first place.) I miss CHOCOLATE. The next few days are going to be hard. Christmas Eve is at MA's and we're doing a hors and ovaries thing. You know... those appetizer things... and then Monday is at my SIL's for Christmas dinner and presents. I'll do fine at Christmas dinner... but the hors and ovaries are going to be hard to resist... they are borg and resistance is futile... God, someone shoot me! LOL At least, they are small and I'll have to make sure I only take a few. On the bright side.... the filo cups only have 4 carbs per 2. I just have to stay away from the cracker things. And all the stuff that has MAJOR amounts of fat... LOL Maybe, I should just stay home and eat carrot sticks.

Why did everyone but ME know this?

Went to the doctor this morning, and all went well. I very much like this new doctor. I was on the ADA website 4-ish months ago, which led me to another website, which allowed me to search for doctors that basically have the ADA seal of approval. They're not specialists, per-se, but they've taken the time to take extra training in diabetes care. Why didn't I do this long before now? Good question.

My hA1C is actually 5.9, which is phenomenal. He said chalk this up to the Actos I'm taking (and I think that was really meant to tell me not to think I'm handling this all that well on my own, that I need to recognize that it's the medicine). He also said that, from the talks we've had, my readings, and the medicines I'm on, he can determine with some certainty that my problem isn't that I don't produce enough insulin, but that my cells have become somewhat insulin resistant, which caused the Type II. He's going to cut me back from 60 units to 50 units of insulin daily - hip, hip hooray. This was the bombshell he dropped, though...

Insulin can make you GAIN weight!!!

WTF???

Did you know this? I had NO clue, and I feel like a complete idiot. I've told two other people about this today, and they both said 'Oh yeah, I knew that.'

I suppose I should've done some research on all this. If I'd been on top of my game 3 years ago, after the boy was born and the doctor then told me he was going to keep me on the insulin, I would've looked into it and found this out. But I didn't.

No wonder I've ballooned up so much in the last 3 years. Just in the last 3 months, since my appointment with the doctor in September, I've gained 13 MORE pounds. Knowing now the evils of insulin, I'd love to just stop it all together, but he said it's better to ease off of it.

&*^%$#@!

Potatoes: A tool of the Devil.

OH MY! The treadmill thing is precious! LOL

As for sugar levels... as to my understanding... my sugar level is usually a little higher in the early A.M... around 120 or 130 or so... after I take my pill it goes down. From what I understand, 2 hours after eating a meal, your sugar level should be back below 180. Since I've started exercising, I've had my level be as low as 90 BEFORE dinner. After dinner it has also been lower than usual... how many times a day do you check your levels??

J.T. gave me this site for information... http://www.nutritiondata.com/ It has a carb counter and everything. Stay away from potatoes... they're evil... they're a tool of the devil... LOL

I'm actually rather fond of this site for additional information: http://www.diabetes.org/home.jsp

I ended up going to Shoney's for lunch... I got the shrimp teryake (sp?)... I ate the shrimp and the veggies, but I left the rice on my plate. I also ate a salad... even had a few croutons (my weakness...) I had to drive my sis M.A. to her drs. appt this afternoon... so while she was in her therapy appt... I was walking around the parking lot trying to get my walk in. I've walked 'the hill' at my SIL's and DB's house 3 days out of 5... which is pretty decent. I don't go to O'ville everyday... but I've made special trips just for that. And I've walked at my DS's just about everyday. LOL I don't own a treadmill... wouldn't know where to put it. M.A. does.... I've walked it before... I HATE walking treadmills.. LOL

Good idea about keeping the book... I hate doing it, but it would make it easier to keep track of what I'm doing... I'm NOT eating enough veggies... I do know that. I probably should take a multi-vitamin... but I'm taking enough pills to rattle when I walk in the morning... LOL But if I loose the weight... maybe... just maybe... I can come off a few of the pills....

I'm sending you a Christmas card via snail mail... it has my cell # in it... USE IT! LOL

I actually walked on my treadmill today, for an entire 30 minutes. I tried to do this Saturday, but had to abandon it when the boy refused to stop putting toys on the belt behind me, to watch them fly off the back. Where was Daddy, you ask? Daddy, after saying he'd watch the boy while Mommy was trying to exercise, decided to run to the store.

Yay for us - starting this to encourage each other, and keep each other honest!

How sad, sappy school-girl is that?!?!

My blood-sugar has actually been *gasp* somewhat normal today, except for the after-breakfast reading... which was 186, but I'm assuming that was due to the raisin toast I had.

And speaking of blood-sugar readings, why can I not nail anyone down on what they're supposed to be?

100 in the morning, below 12o two hours after a meal

- - - - OR is it (for a diabetic) - - - -

120-ish in the morning, and below 180 two hours after a meal?

I see the doctor Friday (gag-snort-choke), and I'm going to ask him.

I have once again started
1) logging my blood-sugar readings in a little notebook and
2) logging also (in same notebook) what I'm eating, because that's the only way I'm ever really going to be truthful about it.

I hate this. I hate everything about it. I like exercising, but I hate trying to make time to do it. I hate having to think so much about everything I put in my mouth. I hate having to plan things so carefully. I would like very much to know what I've done to deserve all this - Karma is a bitch, after all - but I suppose that question is unanswerable.

Until next time...

Today....

Today, I walked at my sister in laws house.... up the hill.... LOL which is a big deal for me.

I've fought my weight FOREVER... and lost.... I've done it all... dieted... starved... phen-fen....

but now... my heart is involved.... and it HAS to come off. I admit I'm scared... and disgusted with myself... and like Ruth... I own my fatness... every pound of it... I did it to myself and I'm going to deal with it. Starting now. (well, actually I started about a month ago... but, starting here... now.)

I'm a horrible couch potato... I work constantly... but I do sit down work/ computer work/ scrapbooking work. That has stopped to an extent... I still have to do something seated... but now I do a lot more moving around. Walking, pacing...

I've developed anxiety attacks and this constant worry and fretting over my health is NOT helping my anxiety.

2 1/2 years ago, I had a subherrachoid brain hemmorhage... a brain anuerysm.... a stroke.... and was back to work in 5 weeks... 2 of that being in the hospital... I had to learn to walk again... I'm a strong person and I can do this... I hate dieting... I hate exercising... No... let me rephrase that.. I hate taking the time to exercise... once I get out and do it... mainly walking... I love it. I feel guilty about the time I spend on myself to exercise... I could be doing... this, this and this for work. I'm a teacher and that is a job you take home with you. You can't leave it at school if you want to do it well. And I want to... thing is... if I continue to sacrifice my health and well-being... I won't be around to do it well...

This is my wake up call...

This one WILL be the big, whiny weight-loss rant.

Because something has to be done, and something has to be done soon.

Stay tuned...